This is an extension of this post but with a totally different approach(err maybe). I am glad and grateful that I have finally finished this semester and all the requirements which included having to defend a research proposal in my study area. This defense was a major heart attack. I had multiple panic attacks (literally) and so much more not worth mentioning! I was imagining the worst to happen because in a way it usually does ha. Ok, I am not here to rant on and on (err maybe…). The point is God never fails us. He did not fail me. I made a promise to Him(I tend to do this a lot) that if I pass through this defense successfully, without the horrifying statements like “you are disqualified” or “go and repeat everything”, I would do something back in return. And for the first time ever, I kept my end of the promise. It feels good to know that despite all the temptations, I did not fail Him on this one. But this does not cover up for the so many times I have failed Him Because I have and I feel bad. I am humbled by the way He takes everything in His hands. My prayer now is that God gives the power to trust in His timing and ways. Speaking of timing, today the Indiegogo photography campaign ends(I talked about it here and here). And in a way I feel calm about it. Maybe I didn’t work hard, maybe it wasn’t so clear…I don’t know but then again maybe it wasn’t meant to be and I am ok with it(Internship!!!!). I believe God has other plans for me and I am going to keep on trusting.
Have a great week y’all.
🙂
Sophie

Here is the news(it’s not that big though ha). ever since I lost the camera, I have been losing enthusiasm for blogging. Now don’t get me wrong. I love blogging. It’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me! Having lost the camera, I find myself procrastinating a lot. Often times I will have a list of posts to publish but then I realize I have to hunt for pictures so I become discouraged and thus the lack of recipes and DIYs all the way from October. But hey, blogging isn’t about pretty pictures only, It’s about who you I am and so I will be sharing my thoughts with you. Speaking of thoughts, let’s talk about smiling.

All my life I have been smiling(at least I think so ha!) and have been dubbed the ‘smiling guru’ at one point! It’s ironic how people say  and assume I am probably the happiest person because of my constant smiling. But there is so much more behind that beautiful smile that if I start elaborating now, It would take edges.

This smile has been mistaken for so many things.

It has been mistaken for being ever happy

It has been mistaken for being childish-ish

It has been mistaken for having it all in life

It has been mistaken for liking certain guys

It has been mistaken for being all over the place…

and many more but one thing is for sure…

I am not always happy though I try to

I am not childish(at least I think so) because I have been through a lot of experiences

I do not have it all in life, seriously!

And sometimes I just want to be friendly but people will always have a problem with all the above.

They say a smile is the best curve a woman can have and I totally agree. This smile has come a long way. From childish years to awkward adolescence and insecure grins to win people’s affection. From teenage(still a teen ha!) drama(never had it but watched people with it) and smiling because it was the only thing I could do to who I am now. What  I am now I am still figuring out. But  this smile has grown with me through ups and downs, thick and thin and when I smile now, I smile confidently.

I am not always happy, I probably think a lot, I do not have it all in life and probably never will, I still believe the right Charming will come a long at the right time and I am a little too reserved(introverts hello!) but I will keep smiling because I know I am loved by my heavenly Father and because it is who I am.

(Took ages to hit that publish button phew!)

Have a great week

🙂

Sophie

No, this is not a giveaway and yes I would like to do one someday but I am still working out the technicalities that come with hosting one. I like entering giveaways. The possibility that i could actually win the items is fun haha.I have never really thought I can win, I just enter for fun…with my fingers crossed. Anyways, I entered two giveaways a couple of months ago that had items I really(REALLY) wanted. I remember praying really hard and having sleepless nights (that bad!). So I waited and waited and waited with fingers still crossed. I made a promise to God that if he (at least) lets me get one item, I would do something in return. To make the long story short, I broke my promise. I felt bad. At that moment I had the slightest flicker of doubt. Maybe I wasn’t going to get any of these items…I mean really whom did I think I was. I went back to the sites and re-read about the giveaways and discovered I couldn’t get them after all reasons being: at the time of entrance, there were already 1000+ entries, the giveaways weren’t international and so I had no chance whatsoever. Although I never got anything, I did learn my lesson. I would like to  compare giveaways to prayers we pray.  We ask God to do the extraordinary but actually lack the faith to believe in our prayers to believe what we ask for will actually happen. We desperately ask God to answer our prayers but we still doubt his goodness. We stop and think ‘can God really do this for me?’ Maybe I have asked too much, maybe I have asked too little , maybe I don’t deserve it… The Bible says that… even faith as big a s a mustard seed (which by the way I got to see recently and its amazingly small) can move mountains(Matt 17:20) . We are told to ask and it shall be given to us but one thing we need to learn is to ask wholeheartedly without any doubts. I think what we lack most of the time is confidence. Confidence that God is in control and knows what is best for us. Having that confidence is a result of actually  taking the effort to know him better as a personal friend.  I can’t say I have confidence(because I don’t) but I am hoping and praying for that confidence to trust in his will, sincerely. 🙂 Sophie