Guilty

I have Failed You

in Joys and Sorrows

Letting  Go

Learning to Love

All these were potential titles but in the end I didn’t use any because I really don’t know what to name this post. all these titles describe what is really going on. Read on.

Lately I have been trying(yes trying) to let go of things. Things that tie me down, things that stress me for fairly no reason at all and things I think I should have control over. I have mentioned it before here and here about my personal struggle to let go had having trust issues here.  And earnestly praying (at least I think so), a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. But recently I have noticed a pattern that is growing rapidly in me and I dislike it(hate is too much a strong word to use). I dislike the fact that I turn to my heavenly Father only in time of need. I hate (now this is appropriate!) myself for being this shallow to only call upon his name when I need something in return. I am pretty much sure that this is not what true love is about. True love is when you love in joy and in sorrow, in happiness and in sadness, in sickness and in health and in triumphs and in failures. And obviously, I have terribly failed the test. I feel guilty.  I want to love the Lord wholeheartedly, completely and without reserve because I know his love for me is so much more than even I can comprehend.

And Lord this Wednesday morning, I am asking you humbly to instill in me a heart that loves you and everyone else wholeheartedly but most especially you.

🙂

Sophie